My fool-proof recipe for an anxiety-free life
Disclaimer: This article has a slice of my personal anecdote and is mostly just a pep-talk to myself. It’s unfiltered and straight from my heart. If that’s something that’d interest you, hop on and give it a read.
I am someone who is obsessed with perfection. So naturally for me, the pressure to outperform has been inevitable. Being on top of my academics from my younger years, I felt that I was entitled to win anything that I laid my eyes on. This meant that failure was for losers and it would bruise my stellar capabilities. Fixated at being the best, I participated in various competitions such as debating, writing while continuing to secure top marks in my class. The streak to not “bite the dust” was on for several years and then something happened..
Fast forward to recent times where I found myself grappling with an uninvited visitor.
My Anxiety.
Initially it was in small bursts where I started to snap and then after calming down, apologized profusely. Gradually, it began to escalate. It accelerated to an extent where I would sweat, my breathing would get shallow, my palms felt cold and clammy and I would keep telling negative things about myself…. to myself. It felt like I was losing control of my head and that is when all the red flags unfurled. My sanity was on the verge of being compromised.
It is a deep sinking feeling of helplessness when you’re trying to convince yourself that everything will be fine. The things that you say to yourself in your head when you’re alone shape you. Thoughts proclaim your actions.
And then one day, I sat myself down and decided to put an end to this. I did not want to feel hopeless anymore. Since I was my biggest critic, talking to my closest people brought a fresh perspective. Their patient, judgmental ear and warm words pacified my fears to some extent.
But I had to learn one important thing of all — to be kind to myself. To take it one pace at a time and not promise great leaps of changes immediately.
Being a self-proclaimed glutton, food has always given me pure joy. I decided to connect something that I love with something that I am hopeless about and knock some sense into my life. So I grabbed my notebook and wrote down my personal recipe to simmer down my anxieties. If you’re swimming in the same waters, here’s something to help you with:
1.Add a smidgen of writing in your day
When you’re alone with your thoughts, especially on an ugly day, you magnify things in your head. You replay the mishappenings and indulge in negative self-talk.
‘Why did I do that when I could have done better? Am I so incapable?’
‘Everyone doubts me and I am never going to be good enough!’
I wanted to lower the volume of the reappearing critic inside my head. So, on a recommendation of a dear friend, I resumed journaling. I like to call it ‘My 2-Min Thought Sprint’. The task was to set a timer for 2 minutes and write down what hit me in the day — the good, bad and ugly. To help me process better, I wrote in quick bullet points just after I finished my day job or before going to bed. These few minutes was my detox as it forced me to aim at my pain points without thinking too much and getting it out of my system.
After doing this exercise repeatedly, I realised that it was just 2–3 miniscule things that were spoiling the entire tone of the day for me. This showed me what exactly needed my attention and how to go about fixing it.
2. Pausing for a beat to just pause
I am extremely impatient with actions and results. In the race to succeed even at failing, I started to feel incompetent. I wanted to fail fast and then quickly shake hands with victory. But that is not how goals work. They demand oodles of patience and there is no place for inconsistency and indiscipline.
Getting back to my reading (as a hobby) cushioned me from that blow. It sowed seeds of curiosity once again and helped me gain some patience to follow through the book. Similarly, there are many catalysts that could give you an incentive to hit your pause button; indulging in a hobby, reconnecting with your old friend, finding your peace through meditation, just about anything that you genuinely relish!
3. Include a generous dose of your favourite people
Conversations don’t just open minds, they unlock hearts. Speaking my heart out with people who care for me, raised my power of perception. For instance, taking my pet out for a walk and bonding with her made me feel so full of love and admiration for the world around me. Conversations with her surpass barriers of language and that, I think, is beautiful.
Another important person in ‘my people’, I realised really late, is myself. The more I spent time with myself doing things that gave me happiness, the clearer my lens for self-perception got.
Clarity of thought without biases pumps you up for possibilities. It injects a sense of relief and hope that better things are in store and you’ve got your people to have your back. The machinery between your ears gets oiled, repaired and renewed to give you a brand new slate to write your story.
Quick recap to reclaim your peace of mind
- Start penning down your thoughts. Words are powerful. They can mend your soul if you keep at it, regularly.
- Find your one true happy place where your mind is free and your senses get a reset.
- Hold tight to the people that love and care for you through unflinching determination. You’ll need them when all hell breaks loose.
